Female leaders, throw those ‘boys’ undermining you a curveball

As someone who has has "the talk", and who has been blocked from opportunities because of exactly the reasons described in the article, I totally agree that this is a real problem. I can tell you that the words the author uses here are the ones I've heard, practically word for word, in conversations with my direct supervisors. Male supervisors. I've also heard the same talk from mentors, who tell me that my problem is that I try to hold others to the same standards I hold myself to. And that, as a woman - and an immigrant woman - is just not done. I was, however, a bit disappointed by the advice given by the author. While I agree it does work, isn't it adopting the nurturing position that they (society, men, whoever) expect us to have? What the author seems to be saying is to do exactly what those male supervisors, colleagues and mentors want from us: as a woman, you must not be assertive, you need to be motherly and nurturing and self-effacing. I'll say it again, that approach works, I can attest to it. It's just sad that it does.

yep I too have had these 'talks' and recognise exactly the dynamic. When as a female leader you need to move from being friendly and open to more directly managing up or even needing to confront and deal with poor behavior that's when you get the 'bossy', 'brusque', 'blunt', 'aggressive' etc descriptors. The expectation is that you will be nurturing in style. I have never in all my time as a senior female leader heard one of my male colleagues pulled up for 'style'. Even when some of their 'styles' might be very agressive indeed, in those cases they are called 'big beasts' and that is seen as a mark of authority. Let's call this for what this is, sexism.

yep I too have had these 'talks' and recognise exactly the dynamic. When as a female leader you need to move from being friendly and open to more directly managing up or even needing to confront and deal with poor behavior that's when you get the 'bossy', 'brusque', 'blunt', 'aggressive' etc descriptors. The expectation is that you will be nurturing in style. I have never in all my time as a senior female leader heard one of my male colleagues pulled up for 'style'. Even when some of their 'styles' might be very agressive indeed, in those cases they are called 'big beasts' and that is seen as a mark of authority. Let's call this for what this is, sexism.

The comments by Jon McGovern above made me laugh out loud. What a silly man. Thanks for the chuckle Jon.